12-5-07

As much as I hate posting melodramatic things on my blog buuut I feel like crying right now.

I feel like our conversation this afternoon was just ordinary for him. There's so much that I needed to say but he ruined the moment. I was on the verge of blurting things that could either lead to -- make or break, all or nothing, fight or flight. Whatever.

I can't remember where I got the courage to be the first one to say hi. At least I tried to be bold. I am proud of myself on that part. But he just brushed off the convo. Like everything seemed normal. I mean it's as if our communication with each other didn't ice out for more or less a month. While I tried to be serious, he was back to playing his antics and sense of humor. He doesn't get it -or- he understands but tries to be oblivious.

After a few words, I decided I can't continue it anymore. I couldn't possibly imagine talking some meaningful matters while he attempts to alter the mood and lead the conversation somewhere else. I hate it when people try to play around when I'm serious. Coz I only get serious once in a blue moon. And when I'm serious, I'm serious. Minsan na nga lang, ganun pa.

Honestly I know he was masking the topic of the discussion, giving both of us the convenience not to be able to talk about something that is sensitive. I guess he was such a coward. I wanted to remind him that I'm a smart girl. I know when people like me and I also get it when people don't like me and I try to accept it as best as I can. I just want the truth. But of course I couldn't get that coz he was careful.

Screw one-sided affection.

I'm tired.

Where's My Shreck??!