kumusta naman

For a second I thought I would just go home and forget about it. It was raining like there's no tomorrow and I felt like a rubber ducky soaked in a bathtub. Surprisingly, my first day in the office was vibrant. It helped that my foreigner boss visited Manila and I was dragged to the training classes he was involved with or else I would have doze off to dreamland or wander into boredom. I was not given any formal load yet except for some itsy bitsy work and some familiarizations and orientation. It helped that the pace was a bit slow coz it would be a daunting task to adjust while already taking heaps of stuff to do. The people were pleasant and uhm what else well that is the only description I can think of right now coz I haven't been able to socialize that much coz everyone's got something to finish and of course talk about newbie blues.

The following days for me felt a bit more like I was participating in a reality game show where participants need to survive and, in my case, I should be able to survive my sleepiness. It felt terrible during the wee hours of the morning. Seemed like my head was about to crack because it got heavier and heavier while dawn settled in. I tried to outwit the drowsy feeling by eating or drinking but it would not just go away. I was even afraid I would hear myself snoring. Deym, it was really really tough especially because I am a such a sleepyhead and although I am used to sleeping late, to stay awake all throughout is waaaaaaah! It's even more difficult after that coz when I am already at home it's hard to sleep and also I noticed that I get irritated immediately even by simple glitches (in short bugnutin). I just find myself staring into nothingness (in short nakatulala) and when someone asks me something I don't like to open my mouth and talk, I just want people to let me be (in short lost in my own world) and then I sometimes forget about the things I said or the things people said like I am not sure if we talked about it the night before (in short ulyanin). Kumusta ka naman diyan.

Like what I said before, this is a gamble. I am not sure if I can outlast every nerve-racking thing that will test me. For now, I find comfort that I am still alive and kicking and that I can still go to work next week. I look forward to eating more Sausage Mcmuffin with Egg every morning at McD... it's beginning to be a favorite of mine.. coz super hungry in the morning and now it's also my comfort food.

This is off the topic. Anyweis, amidst the sleepiness and the headaches not to mention the tired eyes... I am blooming. I'd like to borrow a line from Alanis Morisette's song.

para sa pagpayong sakin...
para sa pagpapaypay sakin...
para sa pagsama sakin...
para sa pagtulog ng late at gising ng maaga para meron akong kausap...
para sa pagsabing kaya mo yan...
para sa pagbigay ng assurance na ok lang pag hindi ko na kayanin...
para sa pakikinig sa mga litanya ko...
for being there for me.